Self-perception and horses have played a big part in my life. As the survivor of a traumatic brain injury in 1983, I met the challenge of suddenly being a "person with physical and emotional disabilities." In a matter of 20 minutes, I went from being totally independent to fighting for my life. Today I live independently with my "security blanket", a kitty cat, and own a quarter horse (who joined the retirement brigade in June). Much of my time is spent working on disability advocacy and therapeutic recreation on the local and national levels.
My relationship with my horse Cruisin’ has had a major impact on my life following the accident. Of course, I receive some physical benefits from horseback riding. Adjusting to a horse’s movements promotes balance and stability. As a horse moves, my muscles contract and relax in an attempt to re-balance. It aids in the motor control of a particular muscle and strengthens my muscles. I benefit from the relaxation achieved through deep, slow breathing.
But foremost the body follows the mind! Just being around horses encouraged me to move ahead when I was not at all sure what kind of person I would be after the accident. Touching, grooming and observing myself around horses allowed me to gain a new self-awareness. I gradually started to feel a sense of satisfaction and control again.
Self-perception influences many aspects of one’s life. It allows us to notice how we fit into the world, and how we judge ourselves. Being around horses permitted me to raise my self-perception from negative to positive. Riding was very self-gratifying, and I gradually became more aware of my energy and my inner power. The feeling of accomplishment comes from within. While riding I forget the rest of the world, whether it be business or personal matters. I focus on my lesson and on the moment with concentration, patience and flexibility. I don’t need to compete against anyone else. While riding, I find out who I am.
When I started therapeutic riding over 18 years ago, the growth and strengthening of my body could be seen through major physical movements and improvements from lesson to lesson. Now corrections to my body are slight, like relaxing my ankle to drop a foot. I am able to feel and perceive what my muscles are doing and think of what I want them to do. My body is following my mind. In the past year, the reconnection of my brain and body became intensified through acupressure. Through acupressure I was able to relieve some of the tension that had been affecting my learning patterns. In addition, acupressure and applied physiology helped to improve my learning ability and physical coordination.
But the key growth factor in my horseback riding continues to be my heightened self-awareness. Sometimes I will exaggerate a correct action to intensify the feeling. I want to really "know" what it feels like and tap into the emotion of doing it right. My self-perception becomes stronger; I am more aware of myself and take notice of every action. I now can relax my mind and body without losing coordination.
On one fateful day, I went from being totally independent to being a person with a significant disability. Following this life-changing event I was still me, yet I was a stranger to myself as well. Horseback riding and being around horses has helped me to discover and accept the person I am today and like the woman I will become tomorrow.
