Rachel's Written Application

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Ever wonder how TV show hosts get their jobs? Ever wonder why someone would trek around the globe to learn more about animals? To give you a peek into why Rachel is the perfect Ms. Adventure, excerpts from her written application are below.

DESCRIBE YOUR IMMEDIATE FAMILY:

My father is a doctor, my mother is a minister. So if I ever got sick, I at least knew I'd be saved somehow. My parents met on the mission field in Nigeria, which is why they probably ended up together (slim pickins when nobody else speaks English). My father can be a total goofball. He is one of the top surgeons in the country, yet when I came home at Christmas he hid behind the TV and pretended the TV was talking to me. He still makes me "blow" on the windshield wipers to magically make them work (cute when I was 4 ... not so much now). He has awful taste and loves to embarrass the family as often as possible. He still wears the terrible fluorescent plaid suit he wore in a family photo in the '70s.

My mother is the first ordained woman in the Reformed Church who now writes books, leads seminars and workshops all over the country in "interfaith" dialogue (and dream interpretation). She no longer belongs to one faith; she is on a mission to bring all faiths together. My mother also has interesting taste. She is a recently turned artist who paints people and figures all over her kitchen cupboards. She has a coffee table that is an aquarium, a chair made of bark, and icons and gongs all over the house. Combine that with my dad's lovely taste of mirrors on the ceiling, a huge treadmill in the middle of the living room (that he never uses) and a flat-screen TV above their waterbed, I'm thinking we won't be on an episode of Cribs anytime soon. Somehow they have raised four semi-normal well-adjusted kids. I gotta give it to 'em; they did mission work and traveled the world with all of us before I was even 6.

My oldest brother John is married with kids in Chicago. He is a U. of M(ichigan) Freak. He shouts at the newspaper and the TV — we have yet to tell him those things can't hear. He is an amazing writer and a funny person. Thank god he got rid of the Willie Aims hair (from the '80s) and looks pretty good now.

My other brother Ron is married with kids and is out here in California, getting his doctorate at Fuller Seminary. The most intellectual person you will ever meet. He majored in philosophy and, oh, has never been wrong yet about anything. :) He is a musician, writer, composer, awesome dad, creative and very funny, but gets paid to be a minister in the Christian Reformed Church. Thank god his kids are close by, so I can take them under my wing every once in a while and de-geek them.

My sister is also an actress. She lives in Chicago. She received all the genes I didn't. She is completely organized, practical, always on time and she even crochets. She is a great balance for me. We both still share an obsession for Rick Springfield, which we may need to get counseling for. Rick, if you're reading this ... Call me!

My family is very close and we do cheesy things like play games and sing songs when we all get together. It's like The Brady Bunch but without Alice.

Application Continued »

TELL US YOUR FUNNIEST DATING STORY:

I was in Chicago and had a date with a man I had liked for a long time. Now, keep in mind, I had big '90s hair. Huge, long and very curly. During the "date" he mentioned casually something about his wife. I, of course, had no idea he was married. At the time I was playing with a lighter, flicking it on and off. When he said "wife," I froze, but the lighter stayed on and caught my hair on fire. I didn't realize it though until he then grabbed a glass of water and threw it in my face as he reached over and started punching my shoulder (trying to put out the flames). The stench of all that burned hair was awful. It was a small restaurant and so not only did it stink up the entire place, but everyone saw the whole thing and commented on how he just saved my life as I was running to the bathroom in shame. (For about six months the left side of my hair was about 4 inches shorter than the right.)

TELL US YOUR MOST ROMANTIC DATING STORY:

I was traveling Europe and had spent a few days in Prague. During that time I had met a drummer. We spent a romantic three days together, but both of us were too nervous to even kiss! I finally had to go on the fourth day and he took me to the train station and helped carry my luggage. Finally, as I got on the train, he stood on the platform and said he had fallen in love with me — and then he kissed me. The longest, most beautiful kiss I ever had. Then the train took off and as I started to cry and watch him fade into the distance, I noticed ... he was still wearing my backpack.

WHAT'S THE MOST RIDICULOUS THING YOU'VE EVER DONE AROUND A GUY?

I went to a dog-walk-a-thon and while I was there, I noticed a really cute guy who was a judge of the dog singing competition. Well, I was in luck. My dog was a great singer and all I had to do was howl and my dog would join me and sing away. I would impress him and he would tell me how much he has been looking his whole life for someone exactly like me, and we would run away together happily ever after.

So I signed up my dog. When it came to my turn, I got on stage and put my dog on my lap. I began to howl. She began to stare at me blankly. I continued to howl. She continued to look at me and tilt her head. I finally grabbed her paw and she let out a yelp. The host of the competition then said, "You aren't allowed to hurt the dog." I then howled. My dog did nothing. I howled one last time. I was then kicked off stage. I was later on the 6 o'clock news. They had the best singing pet and the worst singing pet. They featured me as the worst singing pet. And I never even got the cute judge's phone number.

WHAT ARE YOUR PET PEEVES?

I actually had a dog named "Peeve." He was my pet peeve. But other ones would include being rude to waiters, nail clipping (the sound) and harsh voices. Instant messengers who are strangers, not listening, driving slow, slow talkers and smoke in my face.

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